Halloween weekend kicked ass. Jess and I met my cousin up at Kent Fest on Sat and saw some awesome/hilarious costumes. Some of the ones the girls wore were verry skimpy, I don't know how they did that.. I was fully dressed and was still freezing! Later we went to the latest showing of The Fog. It wasn't that scary but I liked the story, it wasn't all death and gore. (don't get me wrong death and gore is all good, but only when its backed up by a decent story).

I went and bought a domain cactus-flowers.net. It took a while for me to figure it out, as this is my first domain that actually got somewhere. It has all my art and poetry and anything else I can make. (plug plug plug!)

Jess got back in the wee hrs of the morning on Friday. That was also our 1 month mark. I get antsy at this point when I'm with someone because for the 4 boyfriends I've had in my life they all lasted around a month.
I'm still sick. blaahh

You are John Belushi! You were hilariously funny
until you died of a drug overdose. You have a
brother, Jim who is also a comedian, but you
were definitely the funniest!


Which original Saturday Night Live cast member should you be?
brought to you by Quizilla

I've had this weird sickness for the last like 3 days. Not really a full blown cold, just an light headed tired dizzy feeling that comes and goes. Everybody around me is getting nasty colds, maybe I got lucky and it just grazed me.

Jess is in Kansas right now, working on his beast. Getting it ready for the trip back. He said it would take him 3 days, but I figured he'd be wanting to hang w/ his family and all that good stuff so I estimated he'd be home by Wednesday afternoon, and that's the way its lookin'. I was freakin out all worried last night around 1 am b/c I woke up and realized he hadn't called yet. It turns out he tried to call me around that time at a pay phone and he said it wen't straight to voicemail. Now this is where I was confused, b/c I coulda swore I left it on all night. I dunno.. but I got online after work and my bath and found his message he wrote me when he got there yesterday afternoon giving me his parent's number. I felt all kinds of better. But I won't feel all the way better until he's back here.

Oh, and did I mention I love my job? I got to hold a little 3 week old beagle puppy today

Jess is leaving tommorrow morning to get his truck (was supposed to happen today but the plans for what to get there with fell through, then plan B fell through, so now the last resort is a rental car) and he will be gone for 3 1/2 or even 4 days (truck is in Kansas, failed to mention that, hehe)

And after that, he will be living with me. I can't believe something this genuinely good is happening to me. It feels kinda weird being so happy all the time. I really genuinely love him. This isn't the bullshit that Marcus put me through, or shithead from Ravenna, this is REAL. How real is it? He rode his bike last Monday in the morning for 3 1/2 hrs from Alliance OH to Ravenna OH because he wanted to see me and had no other way to get to me. He stayed here for 4 days and we took him home yesterday. He's originally from Kansas, born and raised there, his parents are still there and married. He was in the marines for 4 1/2 years and lived in North Carolina for a while and then joined his friend and came up here for something different. He lost his car b/c of something w/ him having to pay more of the rent down there b/c 2 of his housemates lost their jobs, so he lost his '04 Jetta. So he gets here in Ohio last March, and 5 months later they lost their apt b/c the landlord was raising the rent and renting it out to college girls. So from Aug 1st he's been at the mercy of a friend, crashing on their couch. He was applying at this place down in Alliance to do hydraulics (what he did in the marines, working on airplanes) around the time when we met in mid August. We started talking on myspace.com. He was browsing and I stood out to him. We started talking and started to think we needed to meet, and something worked out and we did. We hit it off, and the rest leads up to now. Moving a little fast? Kinda, but I was being careful. Things are much different and better now.

I got paid today, and maybe later I can muster up the energy to go to Colleen's new house and party.

Ahhhh a day off.. I actual woke up cold this morning. I love it. Fall is creeping in and I couldn't be more ecstatic. I think fall is my favorite season: harvesting our garden and having delicious salads and fried veggies, cozy clothes, the colors, pumpkins, and all the good old fun of Halloween and the deeper meaning of that holiday for me (Samhain, pronounced "Sow-en", the celtic and pagan new year, and the anniversary of my official dedication ceremony to Wicca) The year leading up to that was a year of contemplation. My last ritual was on Beltane, I haven't really felt compelled to do anything like that since then, but I don't believe in forcing something that isn't there. (I mean the ritual part of my religion, my feelings about it have only gotten stronger)

When I look back on the mere 20 years I've been here, I remember little things that only I knew, and things that were connected to The Craft but I didn't realize it at the time. I counted myself as a garden variety christian up until I read something the summer of 2003 that explained all the things that I felt in my soul, things I just.. knew. I read about wicca, and it just clicked. It felt like I'd found a long lost friend. I'd felt a strange natural connection to the moon, I loved watching the seasons change, I studied tarot cards, numerology, astrology and psychic techniques long before I read what wicca was really about. Now I feel like I'm home.

This is a poem I wrote back in the beginning of July, when I felt like something was wrong w/ my relationship w/ Marcus. A week later he dumped me.

Mercy

I caught a glimpse
I try to find it but it slips away again
Oh angels, take me into a dream again
My heart cries for what it can't see.
Oh hell take me quickly
and have more mercy on me than love has.

Don't leave me this way
Do I have to twist your arm to get the answers I need?
Oh angels open the heart to bleed it clean.
Oh hell take me fast
and have more mercy on me than love has.

I need you in your every unspoken word,
and every word that says too much.
Oh love, you leave me haunted
with the ghosts of things lost and dying.
Oh angels, take away the veil so I can see again.
Oh hell, take me fast
and have more mercy on me than love has.
Sweet mercy rain on me like fire.
©Angela McElhiney

Your Mood Ring is Purple

Sensual Clear mind Purpose is known

Somebody else called me just now, someone that hadn't bothered to call me while I was actually <i>single</i>. He was probably just bored or something. lol. But all I need now is my Jesse. Mine all mine! He's amazing, a true blue wonderful guy. I really love him. I don't need anything else as long as I live.

And I might as well put in my 2 cents about the storm aftermath. I'm really not quite sure why the suffering souls down south have gone so long without the things they need to survive.. why our own leader couldn't do something sooner about it... and why our buddy Tony Blair didn't send any help. I'm sure if something this catastrophic happened to the United Kingdom we'd be over there in a flash... there's just so many shameful things about this that I don't know where to start. I think the biggest part is that our focus lately is so much on other countries that we can't see that our own is starting to go down the shit tubes. Shameful. I hate our government.

We have this huge golden retriever at work (I work at the APL remember?) that got shot 4 times and he lived to bark about it. Not only living, he's running around all friendly and happy, happy to be alive and safe w/ good people. If he was my dog I'd name him Badass. b/c he's badass for surviving being shot 4 times. Bad for short

~Ang

Bad news: won't see him for 9 EFFING DAYS. Good news: On the 10th day he'll be here for good. WOOO.

And this is funny as hell: "Naughty Catholic Boy" called me today, after 3 weeks of "being too busy to actually date someone".. he was just using me for a booty call for 2 weeks and I ended that. What's really funny is if Jess had heard it ringing while I was at work and answered it... after I told him that I had a bf, he asked again if I wanted to do something later. What a dink.

But yeah.. its gonna be a long 9 days.